A TALE FROM TWO WRITERS

A Cup Of Gossip's "Goss-Girls", share their stories/writings with the readers


A cup of tea with Dad

It was 1969-
Man had landed on the surface of the moon and I had a new father in my life.
I guess playing the role as step-father seems daunting to any person about to face the challenge of so many new responsibilities, and mine was by far, no different.
Except for the fact he had never had any other children from any other relationships, you would never have known this man was not a father.
I met him on a Sunday. I was playing with my ‘winnie the pooh’ teapot set when he peeked his head in the door, and politely asked if he could join me.
This kind, gentle man obviously just one reason my mother must have chosen to marry him, especially after all she had been through.

But it hadn’t been that simple to begin. As a single mother in the sixties, bringing up two young girls alone and trying to hold down a job, my mother had become settled into the role of both mother and father, while her two young girls just assumed she was happy.
What would we know?
It was on one of our mother-daughter talks that mum broke the news of her intentions to marry, but in the same conversation, it was something we all had to agree on.
That 8 ½ year old girl with her yellow tea-set had made her mind up almost immediately!
And as the days approached the wedding, I remember how excited I was as I kept picturing myself, walking down the aisle, carrying the wedding rings!
My older sister had a harder time accepting this change to our life and for a long time to follow, found the struggle grew as she grew older.
For me, I was contented and seeing mum more often was the icing on the cake!

Having both parents working also allowed extra benefits and in no time at all, we were all packing our lives up and moving to a new town, to begin our new life, together.
I’d just begun high school and my mother and father now ran a local mixed business which we all took turns in helping behind the counter.
The early seventies was almost an unveiling of the person I was becoming and my sister seemed to have distanced herself even further apart from the family home. Mum had suffered years of illness, and there were times she was so sick I was afraid we were losing her. So often we were guarded by our relatives, most cases Nanna stepped in and that was usually protocol. But now we had dad to comfort us and to be there if she were to be rushed back to hospital This happened a few times but he handled each event with calm and control, always reassuring us of brighter days to come. I have no doubt he believed it, and for the flow of the next ten -fifteen years, as my parents set about their lives, watching me grow into a young woman, myself then setting up house and starting my own family, my father remained a loyal source for me to confide in.
With my own marriage in turmoil and mum’s health once more in jeopardy, my trips back home felt like a haven, a place where I belonged and felt safe.
I endured years of domestic violence at the hand of my husband, and on one cold rainy August night, it was my father who answered my rescue call.
The violence had already reached a dangerous level when mum and dad pulled up in my driveway. In the heat of the moment, the husband put his hands onto my mother……..the mild and softly spoken man who had sat holding a yellow plastic cup of tea, now visibly enraged, yelling for the husband to stop! My father shoved him away, but the husband had a history of boxing even the toughest opponent to a pulp, and before I knew what had happened, my dear father now lay bleeding profusely from the nose, unconscious.
He had stepped in as a ‘man’, defending his wife, and his daughter and this was where it got him. That night, sitting by his bedside in the local hospital felt long, cold and sad. I could barely speak the words that I should have said. This man had never stood up against any other man like that before. But this was his wife and daughter, and he did what he felt any other father would have done in his shoes.


That was many many years ago-we have all moved on since that terrible night.
Today, that dear sweet man still a huge part of my life, and that of my children and second husband. He has been with us since we laid dear sweet mum to rest, and he will be till it comes my turn to farewell him.
He will always be the man who is, MY father.

By Debbie Stevens Ó 2007

The next chapter....

Life certainly creeps up on you and before you realise, so too the transformation through age-
Since losing mum, my own life took many new directions and often forced me into situations where I had to make personal sacrifices. The most recent came when dad collapsed in his home, the ambulance rushing him to hospital whereby he was immediately assessed and admitted.
We'd been living miles apart after dad decided he needed to return to the coast----I remained with my family in Sydney.
This distance caused much heartache, but I had quietly hoped to find a happy-compromise, one that would be a suitable solution for all involved. Time ticked-by until the year 2010 and now my elderly father lay weak and malnutrition-ed. in a hospital bed----it was all I needed to make the decision to move, again!
Six weeks passed, dad was released home and I quickly settled-in to my coastal house, only minutes away from dad's house. My father suffers a few medical ailments including Emphysema, blocked arteries and low blood-pressure, just to name a few. I quickly learned through the staff at hospital, just how ill dad really was and set-about organising some services to assist him at home. I'd never seen my father looking so frail----in six months, he had lost so much weight and really showing every day of his 83 years.
The picture sadly reminded me of mum's last weeks, so I held back with tears, once again.
I'd been tormented by the “right” decision, but believe God has always had the controls, so I merely follow His lead----sure, this has meant difficult choices and many sacrifices along the way, even as I type these words I have a dreadful sense of “absence”, missing my youngest boy who is into his first week of 'school-holidays', without me!
Not to become too miserable, I am quickly reminded of dad's appreciation for my “cooking”, not that he has gained any weight [as yet], but comforted that he is trying.
Our lives are slowly falling into a nice pattern, I see the reassurance in his smile that has been missing for awhile and believe my presence has indeed, made a difference.
His legs are weaker and his steps are “less”, but he makes the effort to come inside....my father's hands visibly “shake” so I wait until he's safely-seated... “Will I put the kettle on dad?”he never says “no”, to a nice cup of tea.
.

Social misfits!

During a chat, my goss-sister & I got onto the topic of "communication", and the lack thereof....I suggested the use of the internet possibly one of the contributing reasons for many problems, so I began writing down my own thoughts....we welcome YOUR input!

SOCIAL NETWORKING

Anti-social behaviour

Remember the days when being “social”, meant going out and meeting-up with other people?

If we look at the definition of both words [using our dictionary], it clearly states the following:

SOCIAL:

Of or pertaining to society or its organisation: social questions. Friendly towards others, sociable. Living in a society: social beings.
NETWORKING:
Joining, a system of interconnected people, companies.

Now put these two words side-by-side, you'll see we have people living within a society, joining organisations[groups/activities] while being friendly towards each other.

Sadly, there seems to have been a “breakdown” within many societies, leading to a rise in “anti-social behaviour”. The question then, is “why”?

Communication is a crucial element in our daily lives, whether it be with family & friends, or business, there exists this need to convey our thoughts. However, with an increasingly changing world, our society has been literally forced to conform its methods of communication to adapt to this new-age of technology. Everything is moving at a rapid pace, and we are all trying to keep up! Personally, I still enjoy “time-out” from my computer, to pick-up a notepad and pen, and 'hand-write' a letter to someone. Even though I know an e-mail [or fax] would deliver my news much faster, it isn't always about convenience----more a case of adding my “personal touch”, something many have lost interest in?

Think about it, when was the last time you actually sat down and wrote someone a letter?

The world of computers do have their benefits, but at what cost to the society?

Look at the number of Social-Networks [that you are aware of] that exist “online”, then consider the amount of people using these services----speaking from my own experiences, it seems as though these networks altered our perception,with the hype being extremely contagious----most of the people I had become familiar with “online”, were already participating in one or more networks, leaving me to feel slightly “out of the loop”----was I being unsociable?

MySpace was my first choice and I quickly set-about 'making friends'----being a member had other advantages, especially during my days as a magazine-editor for an international music magazine; most guests were easily located through MySpace.

Eventually, MySpace had to take a “back-seat” to networks such as Twitter & Facebook, many used for promotional reasons, others, well, simply for fun.

The promotional-sources are never-ending, but at the end of the day, there's only so much publicity a human can give to their campaign? Keeping track of passwords/usernames, checking-in on new-found friends/contacts, it all got a bit too hectic and I had to weigh-up all options and begin prioritising!

I suddenly realised my own life had been consumed by time spent “online”, my “real world” was in serious trouble and needed my attention!

In my case, observing other “online groups” slowly falling apart, was the reassurance I needed----it simply convinced me that my decision to network “offline”, was the right choice.

I questioned how people had so much time to be sitting at their computer/s, and wondered about the amount of time we were all wasting? You only have to time yourself----from the moment you “turn-on”, to the time you “shut-down”, it can be a rude awakening!

Then consider what your “online” time consists of ie: chatting/blogging/reading email?? How often and for how long are you spending time on any one network? In all honesty, time can just fly by, but have you truly benefited or could that time have been well spent elsewhere?

My recent “sea-change” has opened doors to some real social-opportunities, the first being a short walk from home, great exercise! Like other people from around my area, we will meet a couple of days a week at our local Neighbourhood Centre where or will teach us how to ZUMBA----Latin-dancing that is combined with steps to “tone-up” whilst having loads of fun!

Too many of us are under a misconception about “online” friendships----and this doesn't include people we are already familiar with “off-line”.

Even though we become members of an organisation/club/group, and we are friendly towards each other, we still overlook reality----when making friendships via the internet we are taking risks, even though it can be a lot of fun, it can also bring some disharmony.

Reflecting on the numerous “online-acquaintances” I have made over the past 8-9 years, I know too well how our better judgement is tested----after awhile, the novelty sadly wears off, and we drift onto other websites/blogs/networks. Many times I have proudly announced my “latest friend”, only to learn it was more than distance which killed the “idea”----the internet moves faster than time, and unless we all stay fixed to the one group, change is inevitable.

Remember, we are mingling within a virtual reality so no matter how sociable we try to be, we are only human!

VIRTUAL REALITY:

The artificial world created by an interactive computer technology which gives the user the illusion that he/she has entered and is acting in this constructed reality.

Consider this discussion as an example next time you are “online”----

“Hi there....feel like catching-up? I'll meet you at Facebook, or MSN”says 1^st friend

“No”, says 2^nd friend... "I'll meet you at our favourite coffee shop instead....and I'll give you a call to confirm!”

Addisons Awareness Merchandise

While taking a [well-earned] break from house chores, well, truth be known I couldn't escape the call of my computer!! Every time I tried to slip by with my vacuum, the temptation just got me!! So off to Facebook I went, catching-up on messages and assisting my "gossip-sister" with her new FAN page....then onto Google where I eagerly punched in the words, 'Addison's disease and awareness ribbons'...what came back?? The following link to a Cafepress page...yes, someone has already thought about this serious illness and designed a few items which I just HAD to share! Check it out! http://www.tinyurl.com.au/6s5


Cheers
Debbie

Addisons Disease

for more information about Addisons Disease, check this out...http://www.tinyurl.com.au/6qb---or www.addisons.org.au --Addisons is a rare endocrine disease, which affects approximately 1 person in 100,000. Helen Reddy has Addisons. John F Kennedy & Jane Austen also, although there has been discussions recently as to whether Jane actually had Addisons...

Home study of holistic health

Home study of holistic health

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Reflecting on Easter-food!

With Easter now behind us, thought I'd take a moment of 'reflection'....a FOOD reflection, after all, Easter is also about the "Last Supper".....

Another week gone by, another couple of kilo’s lighter!

Making it through Easter was a real test of strength!

The fridge always “topped-up” [in time for the Public holidays] for that unexpected-visitor, lovely fresh fish, hot cross buns and all those yummy chocolate Easter eggs are just some of the temptations I had to deal with as I continued the “new diet”-

Good Friday worked out well with the help of Google…..I had been to the Fish Markets on Thursday, but hadn’t considered cooking two separate meals. With enough Dory fish to feed a table of 6, there was still the issue of “how” I was preparing my meal…thank heavens for the internet, I googled-up a list of tasty ‘low-calorie’ fish recipes then checked the pantry for ingredients. It’s absolutely incredible how easy it is to create a healthy meal with little money AND little fuss…my choice was the Asian-marinade.

Using the fresh Dory fillets, I first cut the bigger pieces into smaller servings, then set aside in the fridge…then I made the Asian marinade:

4 shallots[finely chopped]/1 red onion[thinly sliced]/2 cm grated fresh ginger/4 tablespoons Soy sauce OR Sweet Soy/1 tablespoon Sesame oil

Blend the marinade in a bowl or dish, then soak fish for a couple of hours OR overnight.

Place fish & marinade into a foil wrap, tightly sealed…place on shallow baking tray of oven at

210 °Celsius for approximately 12-18mins or until fish falls off fork!

Serve with steamed rice & your choice of fresh vegatables.

This was so yummy, I made more marinade the following day but used it for some skinless chicken fillets which were then placed inside mountain bread with green leaves/carrot/cucumber slices/onion slices & ‘low fat’ BBQ sauce.

Voila!! Deb’s [healthy] Chicken Wraps!

Our Easter has been quiet & reflective and also very tasty!

God bless

FEEL TEAL CLUB AWARENESS

The Feel Teal Club was especially designed for the general public & Artists of every industry. Worldwide, the colour TEAL was chosen to represent Ovarian cancer, though sadly, it is still yet to be widely recognised.
Globally we know to “Think Pink” for Breast cancer and there’s a constant source of funding flowing as a result-

For Ovarian cancer to achieve the same status, “Feel Teal” came into existence.

We continue to raise awareness for Ovarian cancer, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, with the focus on the need for an early diagnostic screening test which will save more lives of the women & girls around the globe.

As a Club, we are all contributing to a common purpose, supporting the Community, while supporting each other.
Our community-based website & forum, endeavors to serve all those who join, including FREE promotion & advertising resources for its artist members.

FTC (Feel teal club) also offers everyone equal opportunity to share their "personal stories" & "experiences" with Cancer, while enjoying the benefits of a wonderful community spirit!
We invite our members to actively participate within our safe & friendly environment making the most of all available resources.

Become a fan of the Feel teal campaign, join our Club TODAY!

http://www.feeltealclub.com

At our table-

Here at "Cup of Gossip", we will endeavor to keep our readers abreast of any local news within and around the community of Holroyd whilst sharing various other topics of interest-
We welcome your comments, so why not make yourself at home, grab a cup of coffee and join our chat!

Goss-Girls